WORK WAS DRAINING
normally it’s not too bad but today one guy told me how to pour his guinness with just a bit too much arrogance for someone I had just definitely helped get laid. Let me explain.
Man walks in with a much hotter date than himself who looks tired and bored
Man : Pint of Lager, please
Me : Right on it
*pours pint*
Man : How come there’s no music?
Me: Oh, we’ve blown a fuse and the iPod’s missing
Man : that’s a shame, maybe you’ll sing for us yeah??
Me : (cannot express the tone of sarcasm enough) Yeah i’ll be warming up in the back with my saxophone
Man : Haha, bit of the ol’ blues
Me : Yeah a bit of jazz
Man’s date (who looked half-asleep until now) : Oh my god I love Jazz!
Man: (looks shocked) really? oh wow me too, jazz blah blah blah blah
See? if I hadn’t have mentioned Jazz they never, ever, would have realized they had this in common and would have had a pretty shit evening. Now, because of me they’re going to have a long lasting relationship and i’ll probably get credit in the best man’s speech at their wedding as they guy who really brought them together.
so this dickhead had the audacity to later on in the evening critique my ability to pour guinness.
in other news this week is all about :
- seeing nicky for wagamamas
- Theme parks/a drunken group affair in brighton
- choosing/designing my tattoo
- not having to go to work until saturday
- booking flights to iceland
- white cube galleries
